A REAL answer to prayer

I have debated back and forth on whether or not to share this with everyone. And, more than that, I have debated if I really want to make it real by writing it down. I guess mostly because it is something I have struggled with for so long. I hate to admit that until recently I haven't been able to accept the reality of this part of my life. But, I realize that just maybe, one of you might relate to this and be encouraged or learn from my lesson. Plus, honestly, knowing me I will have a lapse and need to be encouraged myself. So, here it goes...
As many of you may or may not know it took me 6 long years after a painful and relatively late miscarriage to become pregnant with Jadon. Backing up even further, you must realize my dream has always been to have a whole handful of kids. Whenever, while I was a lot younger, I would picture my life; I always pictured it with at least 3, even better 4 or 5 children. I love being a Mom and a housewife. It makes me happy to take care of things, organize, decorate, and clean my little nest. I love cooking and baking and generally loving and supporting my husband while he works and brings home the bacon. Now, some of you I'm sure are shaking your heads, thinking that girl is so 50's. That's somewhat true but I do not do it because I HAVE to, but because I WANT to. You may not understand but, it is in me and has always been my idea of a perfect life. So, when I developed my heart condition with Jadon and was told I would not be able to have more kids. I was okay with it, or so I thought. I had struggled so and it was as far from a normal or easy pregnancy as you could get. Jadon was born, he was perfect. I was and am able to live with the lingering effects of my heart problem, no big deal. Until... time erased those horrid memories of the pain and struggle and my maternal (or whatever else you want to call them) instincts kicked in and I wanted more children. Badly. I have struggled with the feelings of resentment and jealousy at people I love and care about deeply because they are able to pop them out like there is no tomorrow. Why them? Why not me? After all hasn't it always been MY dream? It's not fair. Why Lord, why?
Recently, well, I can't tell you exactly when. And, I can't tell you exactly how and why. However, I can tell you that finally the Lord answered my prayer. No, I will not have any more children of my own. But, what I wasn't seeing is that I already have the perfect life for me. I may not ever know why my dreams didn't come true with oodles of little ones running around. But, my dream did come true in having a lovely and wonderful son with whom I have so much in common I know exactly what he's thinking most of the time. And, who takes after his Dad just enough to make every day an adventure and interesting. I have a husband who loves me, really loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. And, I love him, not like I did when we first met and fell in love. But, with a deeper, more mature, can't imagine life without you kind of love. I have a wonderful home that even with only one child needs alot of care and cleaning. There is just this deep understanding and knowledge in my heart and soul that right is right. This is what the Lord intended for me and it is exactly what I need and want. It's amazing and wonderful that "peace that surpasses all understanding" and I thank God that in His timing and wisdom He has answered my prayer and given me that peace. What do I want now? Nothing, I have all I need. I have MY family, thank you Adonai!