Well, we are done. Reba is gone. That was one of the hardest things I've had to do in awhile. I keep comforting myself by saying at least it wasn't a person, as horrible as I feel now, I know I couldn't take another breath if it had been Brian or Jadon, or anyone else I love so dearly. I would have died a bit too.
Jadon was a dear and comforted Reba by saying that once she saw Jesus today she would love Him so much more than she loved us that she wouldn't miss us at all. It was darling and made me sob.
I have to write, to get everything down on paper (so to speak) it helps it be real and then I can deal with it. I will also work really hard and long today. I think I'm going to put up the Christmas lights outside today. I always work hard when I am upset, mad, or sad. It gets all that pent up anxiety out.
My sister-in-law is our Vet, she is a dear, it really helps to know Reba will be in the best hands possible at her passing.
You know I have been so blessed thus far not to lose anyone close to me. I mean I am 31 and have never lost a close family member. I have such a hard time with the passing of a pet that it makes me scared to know how I might react when I do have to deal with the passing of a loved one. I cry when I hit a bird with my car on accident. There is such a price to loving easily and deeply.
I thank God for how He speaks to my heart, He knows such words of comfort. It is amazing to hear His whisper in my heart. I thank Him also for His perspective... Anyway, I think it's time to hit those outside lights...
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