Being a kid can be scary

In all of my adulthood, reason, and matter-of-factness, I sometimes forget how hard and scary it can be to be a kid. Jadon reminded me today of the fears you have as a kid and how small your world is when you are seven.
Jadon woke up this morning very scared and teary-eyed. I found out shortly after he woke up why. I have to go in tonight for a sleep study. My cardiologist believes I have sleep apnea and that it is weakening my heart and making my cardiomyopathy worse. I have not spoke in great length about this to Jadon, I suppose he has heard bits and peices along the way and with that and the little information I have given him he has drawn his own conclusions. Anyway, last night he had a dream that I died in my sleep study. That he and his dad came to pick me up in the morning and the doctors told them I wasn't up yet. Jadon then went into my room and listened to my heart and it was no longer beating. The Doctor looked at him and said I am sorry your Mama is gone. He then went home, packed up his toys, and went to live with his Aunt Nins. He had to live with Aunt Nins because he says, in his dream, he just had to be around a "mama". He was so sad and crying so hard as he spoke about this. It was all I could do to maintain some sort of composure. We (Brian and I) talked to him about his fears, what the Lord says about fear, and how we can rest in God's promises. We then prayed as a family and he seems to be better. I suppose it is a lot for a kid to deal with lately. My health has been poor as of late to say the least. He sees me sick so often lately and even though it is nothing life-threatening or deadly; it is a lot for me. It reminded me of how when I was a kid my Mom was my rock. I couldn't imagine my life without her. In a lot of ways it still is that way. Moms really do have a special place in their kid's hearts. They mean so much to them; they symbolize so much to them. The draw back to all that is when mom gets sick the little world around the child starts to show signs of crumbling. The security that they have trusted in thus far starts to look not so secure. It must be hard. I am so thankful I have the Lord to share with my little guy. I am blessed that the Lord's comfort is real and more than just happy words and unfounded optimism. He is our ever present help in time of need.
On a less serious note. we drove home yesterday from my Omi's birthday weekend. We decided to take the road less traveled and explore a little. We went home through the Thousand Springs scenic byway. It was beautiful. Idaho has experienced a wet Winter and really wet Spring this year. It is unusually green here and all the springs, ponds, rivers, are flowing full and strong. It was so relaxing and fun to just enjoy life and the beauty God has given us to wonder at. We saw tons of wildlife and lots of beautiful flowers. It made and ordinary day extraordinary. It was the perfect end to a most wonderful weekend.